Charlotte Crosby opens up about her addiction to fame and struggling to cope with the pressure
She went on to win Celebrity Big Brother in 2013 and is now filming a new series of her fly-on-the-wall programmes The Charlotte Show and Just Tattoo Of Us, both for MTV.
But today the 28-year-old admits she is addicted to fame — and is struggling to cope with the pressure.
“I need to slow it down soon or else I am going to have a mental breakdown,” she says in an exclusive interview.
“It is really, really hard. The Charlotte Show gets filmed over three months and the cameras are constant.
“The minute I wake up the cameras are in the bedroom and the moment I got to bed, they leave.
“There’s a lot of pressure — I didn’t expect it to be this hard.
“Because the cameras are so involved in my life I have a fight in my head. It’s a mental battle — I don’t have a private life at all.
“Even in Geordie Shore it wasn’t about my real life, it was just a bunch of people living in a house.
“But this is every aspect of my life, so it is actually quite scary. It’s massively intrusive.
“I get stressed out. I feel like I am going to burst into tears.
"I ask, ‘Should I be thinking this way?’ I am struggling.
“I need to slow it down soon or else I am going to have a mental breakdown.
"But with me, I can’t slow it down.
“It’s like I am addicted. You think, ‘When I get this, this and this, then I’ll be happy’ but I’ve got it all now.
“Now I am searching for the next big thing.
"I am always looking for something bigger to do. I am sending myself into an early grave.”
Charlotte has continuously hit the headlines for her outrageous behaviour and wild partying since finding fame on Geordie Shore in 2011.
Cringeworthy TV moments included throwing up over herself, having sex on TV, lesbian romps and wetting her bed.
She announced on Twitter in 2016 that she would be leaving the show after suffering an ectopic pregnancy — where the embryo develops outside the womb — after becoming pregnant by co-star Gary Beadle, now 30.
She could certainly afford to quit — having built up a £2.5million fortune on the back of a TV career which spanned Celebrity Big Brother, Celebs Go Dating, Just Tattoo Of Us, Single AF and The Charlotte Show.
She has launched her own fashion and make-up lines, made best-selling exercise DVDs and produced several health books and autobiographies.
And she has also transformed her appearance, slimming from a size 16 to a ten, as well as having a range of cosmetic surgery procedures.
Her 13million social media fans have been gripped by her relationships with “Gaz” Beadle and Ex On The Beach’s Stephen Bear, 28.
And while Charlotte is now happily involved with Love Island’s Joshua Ritchie, she admitted things have not always been easy — even in public.
She said: “We hit a bit of a hard place.
"One time we were arguing solidly for three hours and in the end the camera crew from my show put down their cameras, sat us down and started counselling us.
"It’s all off- camera though, because they had to put down all the equipment.
"They intervened because neither of us was listening to the other.
"Since then we’ve tried to listen to each other more and we’ve never had a big argument since.
“We need couples’ counselling, I think it is a really great idea.
"You need a third person in the relationship to stop the arguing.”
Despite her fiery temper, Charlotte insisted she is not the only one stirring up tensions in the volatile clashes.
She joked: “I think people will see a new side to Josh on the new show.
“He seems so laid back but he has got the temper of Satan.
“He screams in such a deep, angry voice. His whole face changes.
"It goes so red and looks like it’s about to explode.
"You see his cute chubby cheeks and think he’s just a little cutie pie, but he can turn into an evil, evil b*****d.”
Charlotte got Joshua’s name tattooed on the back of her neck in August — the third boyfriend she has memorialised on her skin.
Previously she had two crossed arrows and an M for ex Mitch Jenkins removed by laser.
And after her 11-month romance with Stephen Bear ended last October, Charlotte decided to remove a fish symbol which she had tattooed in tribute to him.
Last year, for her series Just Tattoo Of Us — in which pairs of friends, family members and couples design tattoos for each other which the recipient doesn’t see before they are inked — she allowed Stephen’s bear and cheetah designs to be put on her back.
But she has since had them removed as well and said: “I wish I hadn’t even said I’d get the tattoos in series one.
"I’ll never do it again. If I did it every series I would have no body left!
“I have five tattoos in total and the only others I’ll get done now are the names of my kids.”
The programme has been a huge hit with viewers gripped by the tears, tantrums and violent rages when unsuspecting contestants discover they had been permanently tattooed with something ugly or ridiculous.
In the new series, which begins on MTV on October 29 at 10pm, Charlotte is joined by celebrity pals including Joey Essex, and has even managed to persuade her mum and dad, Letitia and Gary, to brave the tattoo parlour.
She said: “It’s nice for them at their age to do such a different thing and be involved in this crazy world.
"They’ve got a whole new lease of life about it and they feel incredibly lucky.
“When you get to their age and you just do your normal job, it can get like, ‘Where’s the excitement?’ This has given them a big injection of fun.”
Now that she has erased the inked evidence of her past failed relationships, Charlotte is looking to the future with 24-year-old Josh, her boyfriend of ten months, who recently told her he wanted to settle down, get married and have children.
But it seems she has no plans for a family just yet and said: “He’s always the one telling me to slow down but now it’s the other way around.
“I don’t think I’m ready. I’m not sure. I want to achieve so much more before having kids.”
'I take my sex toy everywhere'
CHARLOTTE admits she never travels without her sex toy.
She adds: “I always pack my vibrator, even if I’m going to London.
"I don’t know why, I don’t even use it.
"It’s this weird obsession of carrying it around.
"For some reason, wherever I’m going, the vibrator is packed.
"It’s an essential – but not because I want to use it."
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