Lana Del Rey Wants To Beat Azealia Banks' Ass, Literally

Lana Del Rey (government name: Elizabeth Woolridge Grant) grew up in an upper middle class family in Lake Placid, NY and went to a prep school in Connecticut. But I guess those prep school kids were an extra kind of hard and taught little Lizzie how to hide razors in her hair, Crisco up her face, and knuckle a bitch in the face, because she’s obviously confident enough in her fighting skills to invite a trick over for a bona fide ass whoopin. Former rapper turned full-time shit talker (which is what I put on my tax returns next to occupation) Azealia Banks got one of those invitations after trash talking Lana on Twitter.

Kanye West is wearing a MAGA hat. Taylor Swift is twisting Republican chonies. Lady Gaga is a Best Actress Oscar front-runner. And now Lana Del Rey is threatening to go all Bad Girls Club on Azealia Banks? I don’t know what kind of backwards foolery dust is in the air, but can some fly up into the nose of Alexander Skarsgard and move him to show up at my apartment the next time I go fishing for some anonymous fuck and dump action on Grindr?

This question mark-summoning wreck all started over Kanye West rubbing chodes with Donald Trump. When Kanye proudly wore a MAGA hat on Instagram and said we need to get rid of the 13th amendment, Lana slammed him in the comments, calling him delusion, narcissistic and in need of an intervention. That same day, Azealia proved that she’s no longer in the music industry and just shits at the mouth on the sidelines with the rest of us by coming at Lana Del Rey for Lana’s comments to Kanye.

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