Clare Crawley Sneaks Around with Dale Moss: Quick, Hide From the Guys!
We already showed you the promo for next week, where Clare’s suitors trash talk Dale Moss.
But this new teaser is setting up viewers for the biggest twist in the history of the show.
ABC has released a new promo for next week’s The Bachelorette.
Clare and Dale cannot keep their hands off of each other, even when cameras are rolling … even when Dale’s competitors are already jealous.
On Tuesday, October 27, fans are going to see just how far the two of them would go to keep their romance under wraps.
Of course, as you can see in the promo itself, fans will have to wade through some excruciating puns.
“There’s a Clare frontrunner here,” the voiceover teases.
“And the men will just have to Dale with it,” the teaser declares. That was … awful. I’m almost enchanted.
But the real action is in the footage, where we see Clare and Dale in Clare’s sweet, making out.
It is complained that the two were simply supposed to hang out for five minutes … which somehow turned into a full hour.
When at least one of the other men works up the nerve and impatience to knock on the door, Clare realizes that she will probably have to open it.
“Let me go hide in the closet,” Dale says over footage of the two of them locking lips.
We’re not sure how convincing that would be if the others know that he’s in there — and it sounds like they do.
Also, the camera’s in there. Do they think that Clare was being filmed just, what, doing her makeup for an hour? Every season has a few himbos, but they can’t all be dumb.
Chris Harrison is then seen breaking some difficult news to the (other) contestants.
“Clare’s not coming to dinner,” he tells them.
This is when the situation devolves into chaos, yelling, and hurt feelings.
Obviously, this is when Kenny yells his infamous and long-teased line.
“I expected way more from the oldest Bachelorette,” he says in a line seemingly designed to hurt her feelings.
This is when we see Clare declaring “sick! sick!” seemingly at the universe around her.
At this point, one guy can be heard saying: “If you want to go be with Dale, then we’ll all go home.”
Though there was just one speaker saying this, it’s clear that his sentiments are not his alone.
We see a teaser of a number of the guys walking off.
At this point, some of us are reminded of that infamous “my subs have unionized” Reddit post from a polyamorous man.
In this case, it looks like Clare’s contestants are going on strike — or straight up rage-quitting.
Memes aside, though, you can tell that there are a lot of hurt feelings going on.
Puns aside, the narration then teases that all of this is “setting the stage for the biggest twist in Bachelorette history.”
The twist is no mystery — Clare will of course be replaced by Tayshia Adams. We’ll just get to see it all go down.
First, though, Clare will sob as Chris tells her that she has just blown up the show. He’s not wrong.
We are also looking forward to the roast — but not because we think that any of these men are going to be as funny as special guest star Margaret Cho.
Instead, it looks like some of them are going to use the event to go a little too hard on Dale … and it won’t go over well with Clare.
What a mess. We cannot wait to watch it all go down.
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